Why I Got Out of Comedy ( As a Paycheck)

     As most of you know, I was once a comedian back in the day. It’s the reason why I tell such terrible jokes and it’s the icebreaker I use in every interview/first time meeting ever. It’s something that makes people laugh when they hear it and most of all it makes me seem like a bubbling volcano of creativity overall. I’ve never made it a secret that I once thought “this is what I want to do with my life, I want to be the next Louie CK!” before remarking about how “That wasn’t one of the best choices I made…” Readers, I know the glamour life of a stand-up comedian seems like something grand, fun and full of adventure but the truth is depressing, morous, and really dark. You’ve got to be the most secure person in order to wake up each day knowing that rent and food all depend on the crowd you bring in to hear you tell terrible dick jokes. I love using analogies, so this will be no different; lets step on stage and I’ll tell you all about it in a quaint 15 minute set.

            My fun little stupid side love is the wacky wild world of old pro wrestling. I’ve mentioned it before, I’ll mention it again: its my kind of stupid. So imagine as you will that you’ve decided to start a career as a professional wrestler. You got some basic skills and a chipper attitude so you start off small. The first shows you do are all about bringing in family and friends to make up the audience. Some promoters will force you to bring in a number of people or else the rug is pulled out. Nothing is more depressing then begging people to come to a show or knowing you must sell a number of tickets to earn a spot. Making the show, the number of people in the audience is a dismal small number of people all coming to see little Tyler do his “comedy thing” at a $10 ticket price. Once I did a show with 13 people. The majority of them being related to someone coming to the stage. With that I knew this wasn’t the business for me.

            Back on the pro wrestling analogy, you soon find that you need something to set you apart from all the others. Maybe you become the dirty bad guy who says whatever he wants and doesn’t care. Could be something as simple as the style you work in the ring. Either way, that becomes that man’s life until you have someone like Doink the clown who until he passed away was forced to put on face paint and clown shoes in order to get himself paid. Doug Benson is the weed comedian. That’s his gimmick. Some people shoe horn themselves into things and then wonder why they can’t get out of that hole. I used to work very dirty. I loved telling dirty jokes and being a curse happy comic but that gimmick won’t get you far unless you’ve been working the dirty bars of Philly or some other crass place. Gimmicks, no pay, doing shows with 13 people these are some of the dark depths of the comedy world.