I'm Surrounded By Fucking Idiots

  Once upon a time, I had the title of this post on a T-shirt. Often worn as an undershirt, I would ocassionally rip off my work polo like I was Superman to reveal my true identity. It got a laugh from everyone who saw it, but I wasn't quite jaded enough by society to wear it in any public place short of the bar. Sadly, one day it was disposed of due to a significant amount of alcohol induced vomit, and I have missed it ever since. Especially when I encounter more and more people that hold its print slogan to be true. Because I am indeed, surrounded by fucking idiots.

  Just how dumb are these people nowadays? Let's start with the guy I discussed on the most recent podcast with Tyler Daniels (who you should be following on the twitter.com - @drunkoncomedy). The other day I was yet again exposed to the collective dunce cap known as "society" when a man asked me what is, so far, the stupidest question of 2018. Granted, the year is young, but this fucktard just might hold the title for the remaining eight months. He approaches me just like any other person would with a question, eyes wide and mouth agape. Clutching an adjustable - let me emphasize ADJUSTABLE - wrench in his hand, he proceeds to ask me "Do you know if this will fit an eight millimeter bolt?". Now if this were a small wrench, I might have to give pause. However, this is one of the biggest fucking adjustable wrenches I've ever seen. Eight millimeters or eight inches, it would have served its purpose easily. And of course due to my environment, I am forced to answer nicely by replying "That should work just fine", as opposed to my internal monologue of "Sir, if you were twice as smart as you are, you'd still be a total and complete moron.". And then he leaves, still wearing a look of doubt as if I was somehow the one in possession of a lower intellect.

  And it doesn't stop with this mechanically declined jackass. It's gotten worse since the day I had to toss my puke sullied shirt. I have been asked on multiple occasions what I've thought is the stupidest question ever, only to have it beaten by a lower IQ within minutes. And you may say it's my overexposure to the general public in a retail environment, and I say no! It's everywhere! Overheard at the grocery store - "What's 25% off $10?". The booth next to me at dinner - "Is this soup served hot?". At the gym - "How many pounds is this 45 plate?". Shopping at Lowe's - "Will this 24" blade fit my 20" mower?". You see, it never stops! And yes, many years on the job have allowed me to tune out a lot of the oral fuckery that is dispensed in the world, but when does it stop? Do I really have to run for president of the United States as a member of the Common Sense party under the slogan "Make America SMART Again"? I just might! But alas, I know that would be a failed endeavor. Not sue to a lack of support, but because I couldn't reach the majority of people in this country. Why? Because we're ALL surrounded by fucking idiots.

  What do you think has caused the mental decay of people? Is it the internet? Technology? Shitty TV shows? The pedestal that ignorance is placed on? Let me know in the comments section so we can figure it out together. At least we know we'll be discussing it among people who have an IQ higher than their shoe size.

Until next time-
Love,
Ranty